As children, we dream and role play, picturing what we will become as adults. Yet, what happens when the role play turns real? My ten-year-old daughter, Christina, dreamed of becoming a doctor. She would sit for hours with friends or stuffed animals, diagnose them, and offer them pretend medicine to help the healing process.
The day before Thanksgiving in 2004, the whole outside world continued to spin as everyone cooked and prepared for the holiday. Within the walls of Children’s Hospital of Orange County and St. Joseph’s Hospital, our world seemed to stop. How do you tell your daughter when she awakes from surgery that she has cancer?
When Christina fully awoke, I whispered to her, “We got our answer. We know why you’ve been so sick. You have cancer, and the doctors here are going to help you get better.” I could barely breathe after I spoke those words. I then told Christina we would make a deal and promise to each other right then and there. We would never ask God, “Why me?” Instead, we would say, “Use me! Use all of us through this difficult journey.” Christina agreed, especially when she realized every child on that third floor also had cancer. With her eyes filled with compassion and a heart full of love, my daughter marched forward. Yes, Christina, amid so much darkness and so much pain, let her light shine.
God chose Christina, not me, not her Dad, and not her younger brother, Teddy. He called, and she answered by picking up her cross and carrying it with a sweet, gentle spirit. Through Christ, Christina turned a dismal situation into life lessons and faced many trials with joyful noise. She prepped her time before surgeries with two hours of karaoke in the hospital playroom. Hula dancing was the highlight before her transplant, and soft singing made the administering of chemo a more positive experience.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. (James 1: 2-3 NKJV)
One of my most vivid memories of Christ’s light shining through the darkness within those hospital walls occurred during Christina’s first round of chemotherapy. "Mom, thank you for bringing me into the world.” My daughter spoke these words in the kindest voice as chemo pumped into her body for the first time. The funny thing is, she was the one who brought life into my world. Her sweet and penetrating words started the journey, broke down all barriers, and put everything clearly into perspective. Christina thanked me for life as that solution entered her body and could have very well robbed her of that same gift. I told Christina I wasn’t the one who brought her into this world. That honor came from God. She said, “I know, but thanks.” Christina’s life forever changed, and so did the lives of all the people she touched. She continues to inspire them even now. She was grateful to God for every moment. I was thankful God blessed me with her. I realized Christina wasn’t mine. She was indeed His child, and I was given this time with her as a precious life-lesson-filled gift.
Cancer has a way of robbing people of treasured times and opportunities—if we let it. God showed us how we must not allow this disease to define any of us through this journey. Christina’s heart belonged to her Lord and Savior. He would guide and protect her. The road was extremely bumpy, and many doctors grew frustrated when Christina wasn’t responding to treatments listed in their medical books. However, you followed the book—the “Book of Life.” God’s book is the one we turn to for all true answers.
Sixteen years later, Christina is still working from heaven. The child who dreamed of becoming a doctor blesses us with healing gifts from above sent through God. The gift of hope touches all who are in despair. The gift of laughter is joyful noise that tops any medicine. The gift of courage encourages people who doubt why they are here to take that first step. The gift of priceless moments reminds us that we must not wait. We need to dedicate our lives now to make a difference. As parents, grandparents, relatives, and friends, we receive opportunities to hug our children tighter. Quality time wins out over trivial tasks and appointments. All of these are life-lesson-filled gifts from above.
How would we ever understand the depths of compassion without walking through these trials and flames together? How would we ever know the true meaning of being healed?
May God bless you and your family at this moment and always,
Celeste N. Bowers
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